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Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
The sudden breakdown of a long-term relationship can be a challenging time but it has been nearly five days. So shut up.

Dark Matter Could Destroy Uri Geller, Say Scientists

THE mysterious substance which makes up 90 percent of the universe may be able to destroy Uri Geller, scientists have claimed.

Skrnsson Takes Gold In Uphill Nordic Skjord

FINLAND'S Rinsu Skrnsson defended his Olympic title in Vancouver last night, taking gold in the 2x4000 Uphill Nordic Skjord.

Brown Waits To See If Britain Is That Stupid

GORDON Brown was today waiting for opinion poll results that will reveal whether or not Britain really is that stupid.

BNP Drops White Men Who Secretly Fantasise About Denzel Washington-Only Policy

THE BNP has voted to open its membership to people who are not repressed homosexuals secretly pining for the hot love of a large, powerful black man.

Living Under A Flyover Is Character-Building, Says Minister

A FEW months sleeping under a flyover and eating discarded banana skins never did anyone any harm, the government said yesterday.

Missus In Right Old Tiz Over Bit Of Fun With Dolly Birds

TV presenter Vernon Kaye's missus shouldn't get her knickers in a twist over a bit of saucy fun, Seventies experts said last night.