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Brown Threatens To Fly Plane Into Office Of National Statistics
GORDON Brown was circling central London today threatening to crash his light aircraft into the Office of National Statistics.
Vieira Mistook Whelan For Nazi Soldier
PATRICK Vieira has defended his attack on Glenn Whelan by claiming he was in the middle of a Word War Two flashback.
Twitter Filled With People Being Wrong About Jan Moir Again
JUST four months after thousands of people were wrong about Jan Moir, the social network Twitter was today filled with them being wrong again.
Heartbroken Cheryl Wears Mini-Kiev On Wedding Finger
CHERYL Cole jetted off to Los Angeles last night, but sent wayward husband Ashley a poignant message by swapping her wedding ring for a mini chicken kiev.
Support Grows For Retro Falklands War
A MAJORITY of Britons would support a retro, 80s-style war with Argentina, especially if it was narrated by Stuart Maconie, it emerged last night.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
My girlfriend of several years keeps pestering me to make things official and marry her. Although I'm not wholly opposed to the idea, I am slightly worried that marriage could ruin our relationship completely. I've seen it happen too many times to other people: as soon as you put a ring on her finger it's like a man-trap snapping shut on your leg...
Edmonds' Wife Questioned Over Absence Of Mercy Killing
NOEL Edmonds' wife was being questioned by police last night over why she has failed to smother him in his sleep.
Men Reveal Pain At Cheryl's Lack Of Promiscuity
CHERYL Cole's refusal to indulge in graphic sexual misdemeanours is causing 'deep and lasting pain' to Britain's men, it emerged yesterday.