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Mills Thought Stu Sutcliffe Was The Best Beatle, Says Nanny
HEATHER Mills considered Stu Sutcliffe standing with his back to the audience in a Hamburg strip club in order to hide his inability to play the guitar as the high point of the Beatles' career, an employment tribunal heard yesterday.
Millions Shocked As Twisted Ankle Reveals Desolate, Howling Void At Centre Of Their Wretched Lives
MILLIONS of people across England were last night struck by the horrific realisation that Wayne Rooney's ankle health could influence their emotional well-being.
Climatologists Claim Planet Is Haunted
GLOBAL warming is probably being caused by ghosts, climate scientists claimed last night.
Zoology admits defeat over cocks, tits and beavers
BEAVERS are to be renamed 'riverdogs' after zoologists finally conceded defeat to the overwhelming forces of sexual innuendo.
If The Answer Is Vince Cable Then I'm Moving To France, Says Everyone
IF the answer to Britain's economic problems is Vince Cable then what are the schools like in the Dordogne, it was claimed last night.
I Have Feet, Says Ricky Martin
POP star Ricky Martin has ended years of speculation by confirming that he has a foot at the end of each of his legs.
Protestant Child Molesters 'Being Sidelined'
PROTESTANT child molesters last night warned they were becoming the 'forgotten men' of Christian paedophilia.
Ryanair Passengers Pay Extra £10 Not To Be Blown Out Of The Sky
RAF fighter jets are being scrambled on a regular basis as part of a Ryanair scheme to make passengers pay a £10 surcharge for not being killed.