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Morecambe And Wise To Make Everything More Expensive
BRITAIN'S favourite entertainers are to make everything you buy much more expensive before deciding whether to let you keep your house.
Your Astrological Week Ahead With...
Psychic Bob
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Should an action be judged on its moral intent or on its benefit to
society? And can either method be used to justify you repeatedly having
sex with your neighbour's dog?
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
I recently joined a government 'Back to
Work' programme which was intended to stop me claiming benefits and
start actually being a productive member of society, whatever that
means...
Men under increasing pressure to look vaguely presentable
IMAGES of male beauty in the media are forcing men to make a grudging effort to look half-decent.
Capello Names Provisional List Of Excuses
ENGLAND manager Fabio Capello has nominated his provisional list of 30 excuses for crashing out of the World Cup in June.
The Torch Has Been Passed To A New Generation Of Public School Nancy Boys
BRITAIN'S long, national nightmare was over last night as the nation
was once again placed in the safe, reliable hands of some vaguely effeminate
public school boys.
Toddlers Banned From Eating Each Other
NURSERY school children will no longer be allowed to bite chunks out of each under new rules introduced today.
Animals Obstructing Progress
SUPERFLUOUS wildlife is still hampering vital progress in the logging and fast food industries, it was claimed last night.