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Concern Grows Over Ninja School Standards
MANY ninja school-leavers are unfit for even the least dangerous missions, according to leading UK warlords.
Novello Judges Sectioned
A GROUP of music 'experts' were last night being assessed by
psychologists after Lily Allen won three awards for song writing.
I'd Play God, Says Everyone
AS scientists created artificial life for the first time, people across
Britain said if it was them they would be playing God like it was going
out of fashion.
Have You Seen My Tits Yet? Asks Kim Kardashian
KIM Kardashian would like to draw your attention to her breasts, it was confirmed last night.
Skeletor Joins Labour Leadership Race
CARTOON despot Skeletor has launched his bid for the Labour leadership.
The Mascot Nightmares Begin
MILLIONS of children are waking up this morning drenched in sweat and
urine following the unveiling of the London 2012 Olympic mascots.
Your Astrological Week Ahead With...
Psychic Bob
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The book you're currently reading is a sensitive and subtle portrayal of
a young man's loss of innocence in the pre-industrial Midlands and as
such is not a patch on Andy McNab's Towel-head Armageddon.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
Having been married for a number of years, my husband and I have got
into an unfortunate habit of spending most of the weekend on the sofa
eating fast food and watching TV programmes for the feeble-minded.
But recently, my husband has taken up a new hobby called 'dogging'...