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We're too busy to take a break, say arseholes who aren't really
OVER half of Britain's office workers are tedious sods playing the martyr to make everyone else look bad.
Loony Lefties Ban England Flag Made With Blood Of Dead Argies
A LOCAL community has been banned from painting an England flag on the side of a building just because they want to use the blood of dead Argentinians for the red bits.
Obama Starting To Sound Like A Bit Of An Arse
PRESIDENT Obama's handling of the Gulf oil spill is starting to make him
come across as a bit of an arsehole, it emerged today.
White People Advised Against B.A. Baracus Impersonations
THE new A-Team film is to carry a warning advising white men in
their 30s not to impersonate B.A. Baracus.
Pregnant Women To Be Labelled
EXPECTANT women are to be labelled to avoid embarrassing confusion with the fat ones, it has been confirmed.
Your Astrological Week Ahead With...
Psychic Bob
Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Your new girlfriend is quiet and unassuming, maybe slightly aloof, as if
butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. And of course, butter wouldn't melt
in her mouth, what with you keeping her in the freezer.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
I suspect that my husband is having an affair with my sister, but I
haven't yet been able to prove anything. Last night, I walked in to find
my sister sitting astride my husband with her top off, lipstick smeared
all over her face and his, shouting 'ride me, cowboy!'...
Bon Jovi Gigs To Trigger Fresh Wave Of Pathetic Pub Bands
HUNDREDS of desperate pub bands could be created in the wave of impending Bon Jovi gigs, experts have warned.