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Britain Trying Not To Imagine What Katie Price Perfume Smells Like
BRITAIN was last night trying desperately not to think about what Katie Price branded perfume actually smells like.
North Korea Celebrates Flawless 8-0 Win
NORTH Koreans were celebrating last night after their team's long-predicted 8-0 thrashing of decadent capitalist Brazil.
Fifa Gives Free Publicity To Unofficial Beer
FIFA was banned from its own World Cup last night after giving millions of pounds worth of publicity to an unofficial product.
More People Bringing Vuvuzelas To The Office
THE World Cup has seen a sharp rise in the number of people bringing their vuvuzelas to work with them.
Microsoft Unveils Xbox That Plays Itself
THE new Xbox allows gamers to reclaim their lives by playing itself, it was revealed last night.
Christopher Eccleston Claims He Was Doctor Who
SURLY actor Christopher Eccleston has claimed he was the star of Doctor Who.
Hard-Up Public Sector Pensioners 'Will Sing U2 Songs In Tube Stations'
A CUT in public sector pensions will lead to lots of decrepit leftists singing U2 songs in tube stations to make ends meet, it was warned last night.
Emergency Christine Bleakley Information Service Launched
A NEW 24-hour telephone helpline has been launched to fill the gaps in Britain's rolling Christine Bleakley requirements.