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One Woman's Week: Black To Basics
By Karen Fenessey
WHEN people ask me, 'Karen! Been watching the World Cup?', I always
respond, 'World Cup? World Crap more like!'. Normally, Wimbledon is the
only sporting date in my summer diary. For me, football has always been
something played by faceless alcoholics with clammy thighs and
impenetrable regional accents...
Light Sabres Potentially Deadly But Also Incredibly Cool, Say Experts
POWERFUL light sabres sold online could be lethal but are nevertheless amazing, according to experts.
Police Can't Stand Another Minute Of Birmingham
WEST Midlands Police have withdrawn a CCTV scheme after admitting they
can no longer just sit there, staring at Birmingham.
You're On Your Own, Say Guide Dogs
BLIND people across Britain were bumping into things today after thousands of guide dogs deserted their posts.
Fischer To Be Exhumed Using The 'Trompowsky Desecration'
THE body of chess genius Bobby Fischer will be exhumed using the classic 'Trompowsky Desecration', it was confirmed last night.
Cameron Praises Britain's Gay Subcultures
THE prime minister has praised Britain's homosexual subcultures as 'the
best in the world'.
Karen Matthews Breeding 'Unforeseeable', Say Social Services
NOBODY could have reasonably predicted that somebody would want to have sex with Karen Matthews, according to a new report.
Queen To Put Balls In Her Mouth For First Time Since 1957
THE Queen is to put some balls in her mouth for the first time in more than 50 years, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.