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Katona Sex Tape 'Kills All Who See It'
EVERYONE who has watched the Kerry Katona sex tape has died mysteriously within a week, it was claimed yesterday.
Miss Cornwall Stripped Of His Title
THE winner of the Miss Cornwall beauty contest has been stripped of the title after he turned out to be from Devon.
Unemployed Told To Climb Down Rabbit Hole To Magical Land Of Jobs
THE unemployed are to be relocated to a magical land full of talking animals and cute, furry jobs, the government has confirmed.
Video Technology Confirms England Are Very Bad At Football
ENGLAND are heading home from the World Cup today after state-of-the-art
video technology showed the ball crossing their goal line many, many
times.
Apple Forgot To Hold iPhone Before Putting It In The Shops
APPLE has admitted it forgot to check its new mobile phone worked before shipping millions of them to stores around the globe.
Diana In Heaven
Went round to Brian Clough's to watch the England v Slovenia match
the other day. Was planning to go to Don Revie's but when we got there
he was charging people twenty quid to get in and had put a ban on
everyone bringing in their own drinks.
Retirement Age Raised To Five Years After You Die
PEOPLE will be expected to work for a minimum of five years as a zombie
under new government plans to raise the retirement age.