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Anna Chapman Also Has Fantastic Tits, Claims FBI

ANNA CHAPMAN, the suspected Russian spy, also has a cracking set of charlies, the FBI confirmed last night.

Gerrard ******s A **** With ****

LIVERPOOL captain Steven Gerrard is bracing himself for revelations that he ***ed a ***** and has had to ***** the ***** with a coat hanger and a ****ing great *******.

Millions More Old People Using The Internet Despite Not Liking It

THE number of OAPs discovering the internet, deciding they don't like it and then continuing to use it anyway has increased, according to new research.

Liverpool Fans Accuse Hodgson Of Raging Sanity

PROTESTORS outside Anfield last night questioned whether Roy Hodgson is mentally unstable enough to manage Liverpool.

BBC Stars To Reveal What They Do With The Money

THE BBC's most famous names will be forced to reveal how they spend their magnificent salaries, it has been confirmed.

Court Upholds Right To Dismantle Boris Johnson

WESTMINSTER Council have successfully applied for an injunction allowing the dismantling and removal of Boris Johnson.

Diana In Heaven

IT was Michael Jackson's first deathday celebration day last Friday and to be honest, it was a bigger fuck-up than that time he hung the kid over the balcony - the bloke just hasn't got a bloody clue.

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I recently agreed to let my husband relinquish his evening washing up duties and attend a line dancing class in our village hall...