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Moat Killed By Cabal Of Secret Tory Billionaires

RAOUL Moat was executed on behalf of a group of Tory billionaire businessmen whose names you will never know, it was claimed last night.

Gratuitous Donkey Torture All Round

JOYFUL crowds spilled onto the streets of Spain last night as the nation celebrated its World Cup victory with a traditional bout of doing unspeakable things to donkeys.

Tech Talk

Gizmo news and reviews with Nicholas Bispen
 
FANS of the troubled Pernice Boomerang handset have been disappointed following the long-delayed launch of the v-shaped personal organiser.

Houses Go Bad

HOUSES, for so long the friends of mankind, have finally turned against their masters, according to the latest property market survey.

Snoop To Pimp Out Deirdre Barlow

RAPPER Snoop Dogg is to feature in a Coronation Street storyline that sees him running a stable of psychotic crack whores from above the shop.

Iran To Rebrand Itself As Lovers' Paradise

IRAN is hoping to attract thousands of Western tourists after rebranding itself as the ultimate destination for lovers.

Norfolk Tools Date Back To 1938

HUMANS in East Anglia may have been using tools as early as just before the Second World War, it has emerged.