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Thing is, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow, say doctors
YOU never know what's going to happen so you might as well eat a load of crisps, doctors said last night.
Liverpool to experiment with 0-11-0 formation
KENNY Dalglish is hoping to improve Liverpool's fortunes next season by fielding a side comprising entirely of midfielders.
Zuckerberg posts armed guards at Facebook perimeter
ANYONE who tries to leave Facebook will be shot, Mark Zuckerberg said last night.
Who does Rupert Murdoch think you are?
QUESTIONS were being raised last night over exactly what kind of person Rupert Murdoch thinks you are.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
My boyfriend of 3 weeks has just asked me to marry him. Even though I
still don't know his middle name, and I've only seen his pee-pee once.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Time to have your bowels examined after you take a dump at a music festival and the Portaloo throws up.
Sandwich to stay disappointing for two weeks
ADVANCES in food technology mean that pre-packed sandwiches can now retain their disappointingness for up to 14 days.