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Mcelderry Releases Debut Admission Of Homosexuality
X FACTOR winner Joe McElderry's eagerly-anticipated first admission of gayness is to be released this week.
Pit Bull Owners To Have Testicles Chewed Off By Their Own Dog
MEN who own pitbulls could be sterilised by their own pets, according to new research.
Vicar Prays To Sham God
AN East Sussex vicar has been found guilty of worshipping a bogus deity for the last four years.
So, How Was That Going To Work? Everyone Asks Family Of Dead Japanese Guy
THE relatives pocketing the pension of a Japanese man who had been dead in his bed for 30 years were last night asked exactly how they thought this was going to pan out.
New Bank Pledges To Openly Despise Its Customers
BRITAIN'S newest high street bank has promised not to pretend to be your friend.
Inception Director Implanted Idea That People Who Don't Like Inception Are Stupid
INCEPTION director Christopher Nolan was last night accused of invading people's dreams and implanting the sub-conscious perception that his new film isn't just a lot of toss.
Goodfellas Play School
With Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito
A house
With a door
One, two, three, four
Ready to play
What's the day?
It's Tuesday you dumb fuck