the dailymash

West Brom To Reform As Jazz Band

WEST Bromwich Albion have abandoned football and are to regroup as a Dixieland jazz band.

Lourdes Unveils Latest Hoax

LOURDES, home of the magic Jesus bath, has added fake car bombs to its hoax repertoire.

Reader Offer: Setting New Standards In Budget Accomodation

And Yet Oliver Prevails, Everyone Tells Sainsbury's

SO you can ban some woman for using the wrong Nectar card while 'it' continues about its business unmolested, everyone told Sainsbury's last night.

BBC On Crack

BBC director general Mark Thompson has admitted that most of the licence fee money has been spent on crack cocaine.

Bring On Burundi! Roars Capello

ENGLAND manager Fabio Capello feels England could soon compete against the likes of Burundi or even Burkino Faso following last night's demolition of Hungary.

Try Not To Punch Tourists, Britain Reminded

TOURISM chiefs have unveiled a new guide reminding Britons not to just punch people who are here on their holidays.

Facebook To Stop You Hurling Violent, Unhinged Abuse At Strangers You Disagree With About Films

FACEBOOK was last night accused of attacking freedom of speech after it pledged to stop you calling someone a 'Nazi fucking cocksucker' because they don't like Christian Bale as Batman.