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BBC May Be Forced To Shoot Chris Moyles
THE BBC has warned that if Chris Moyles keeps coming to work, they may be forced to shoot him.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
The other day, a female friend and I were comparing notes about our
husbands. It turns out her husband gets up extra-early every day to
prepare breakfast in bed which he brings to her on a tray with a single
red rose, then performs certain lewd acts on her downstairs department...
Your Astrological Week Ahead, With Psychic Bob
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
The people who say that the best form of revenge is a life well-lived
have clearly never pissed through the letterbox of a dole officer who's
turned down your sickness benefit claim.
Millions To Watch Commonwealth Games To See If Something Collapses
MILLIONS of people who had no intention of watching the Commonwealth Games are now eager to tune in just to see if the stadium collapses.
ITV Launch 'You've Been A Shit'
ITV is to refresh its Saturday night schedules with the motiveless abuse show You've Been A Shit.
Witches Voice Frustration At 'Dabblers'
PEOPLE dabbling in the occult need to show more dedication if they are to succeed at 'the craft', according to top coven leaders.
Vince Cable Is Just So Cute, Say Bankers
WHEN Vince Cable bangs his little fists and stamps his little feet he is just the cutest thing in the world, bankers said last night.
Society To Be Re-Organised Around Dementia
GLOBAL society is to be re-organised on the assumption that everyone has dementia.