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Morbidly obese cat dies of adorable heart attack
PHOTOS of an obese cat in the throes of an endearing fatal heart attack have proved a huge hit on social media.
'Truffle Shuffle' To Be Renamed 'Dance Of Death'
LOCAL councils are to rebrand the 'Truffle Shuffle' as the 'Dance of Death', as part of new plans to reduce the size of Britain's children.
Everyone To Get A Flamethrower
THE government is to overcome Britain's inability to order grit by giving everyone their own flamethrower.
Your Astrological Week Ahead, With Psychic Bob
Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
This week you will be made illegal in every country in the world except Wales.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
It's coming up to the annual festive
charity bake-off at my church, and, as usual, the competition
is incredibly tough. Thankfully, this year the three-times champion,
Judy Butters is laid up in bed with burst piles, and so I finally
have a chance to grab the top spot with my choco-banana muffins.
Angry Hobos Lurching Towards Parliament
BRITAIN'S filthiest drunks have begun their erratic stagger toward Parliament in protest over tax increases on high-strength beer.
Jackson Unveils 'Blaxsploitation' Hobbit
PETER Jackson's latest Tolkien blockbuster will portray Bilbo Baggins as a black hobbit hustler who needs to score some serious treasure to pay off his debts.
EU Google Probe To Be Based Entirely On Google Searches
THE EU investigation into Google will involve doing lots of Google searches to find out things about Google.