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Superfast Internet To Collide With Superslow Brains
EXPERTS today warned of the consequences of superfast internet crashing headlong into Britain's superslow brains.
Ashes Fans Unable To Distinguish Dreams From Reality
BLEARY-eyed cricket fans are currently living in a confusing, surreal dreamscape where England know what they are doing.
Deadly Ice Causing Hundreds Of Painful, Hilarious Falls
ICY pavements are causing a record number of injuries as people fall over in a manner that onlookers find incredibly funny.
Russians Infiltrate Least Important Thing In Britain
INTELLIGENCE chiefs believe Russia may be engaged in a complex double bluff after infiltrating the office of a Liberal Democrat MP.
The New Adventures Of Joe 90
I was late getting up for breakfast this morning, although Dad never told me off because he wasn't feeling very well. "Dad, why are you still wearing the same smelly clothes you went out in last night?"
My Big Gap Year. With Poppy Spalding
I was literally paralysed with grief when I learned that my comedy hero Leslie Neilson had passed on. So it was all I could do to leap off my bicycle before I did some serious damage and board a flight for NYC - birthplace of comedy and Richard Dreyfuss.
Just because we're crushing Wikileaks, it doesn't mean you're next, say governments
GOVERNMENTS around the world today stressed that just because they are trying to crush Wikileaks to death, it does not necessarily mean that you will be next.
Children Run Out Of Things To Do With Snow
BRITISH children returned to their televisions last night after completing the list of things that can be achieved with snow.