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Forsyth cracks America

IN a last minute change, CNN has ditched trainee journalist Piers Morgan in favour of Bruce Forsyth.

Wikileaks row stops someone from buying a Chris de Burgh album

THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.

Australia to recall booze and strippers

AUSTRALIA is to recall booze, strippers and late night hotel carnage to its humiliated Ashes squad.

Women doing their best

FEMALE workers are not just there to brighten the place up, they are also increasingly useful, according to new research.

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My husband has really gone and upset the apple cart this year, by suggesting that we have roast beef for Christmas dinner, rather than a turkey. I'm not sure what has prompted this sudden reckless outburst. Perhaps he's on the crack again...

Your Astrological Week Ahead, With Psychic Bob

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
This week delight your colleagues by having an opinion about everything. It will give them new material to make fun of you with when they all meet up in that pub they never invite you to.

Other Species Increasingly Obsessed With Fame

INSECTS and animals are increasingly exhibiting fame-hungry behaviour, according to experts.

Google takes a year and a half to invent something better than Windows

INTERNET giant Google was facing collapse last night after it revealed it had taken 18 months to come up with something that might be better than Windows.