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Leaked climate emails force carbon dioxide to resign
CARBON dioxide has resigned from being a gas, it has been confirmed.
Millions trying to wash away the awfulness
SHOWERS are taking twice as long as 20 years ago as people desperately try to scrub off the 21st century, say researchers.
Even darker version of internet 'sounds delightful'
THE notion of a so-called 'darknet' has confounded those who were sure the normal internet represented the very depths of human depravity.
Andrew Lansley to watch you while you sleep
HEALTH secretary Andrew Lansley is to sit next to hospital patients, looking at them while they sleep.
Plan to pay off deficit with bits of old soap 'not working'
THE government's plan to wipe out Britain's deficit using little bits of
discarded soap is not going well, David Cameron has revealed.
Most churchgoers just there to steal copper off the roof
MORE people are visiting churches to steal metal than to worship, it has emerged.
Britain prepared to forgive Grant for his films
HUGH Grant could be forgiven for his entire career if he carries on like this, experts have claimed.
High pay report calls for piss to be directed at wind
A REPORT into executive pay has called for a radical reform of how wind is combined with piss.