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UK's biggest selling car is a goat

RECORD numbers of UK households are ditching the family car for a medium-sized goat.

MPs using jail to avoid electorate

MANY more MPs are expected to admit fraud in a bid to get away from whining, busy-body constituents.

Reeves to end excessive bank profits with angry poem

SHADOW chancellor Rachel Reeves has vowed to end to excessive bank profits with an angry poem.

Undercover officer lured back with meat

POLICE hope to lure undercover officer Mark Kennedy back into a police station using a steak on the end of some thread.

Cannibals, say tube drivers

LONDON'S tube drivers have launched their latest strike threat, claiming they are being picked off one by one by a family of voracious cannibals living in the underground system.

Mosley in bid to protect lovers of buttock pain

MAX Mosley has launched a bid to protect people who love it when their bare bottoms are alive with delicious agony.

Guest blog: David Beckham

I miss sandwich spread sandwiches on medium white sliced bread with margarine, not butter - I don't like butter, because it's too salty and I don't like salty things.

92% think they could do better art than Damien Hirst

MORE than 90% of Britons have an idea for some art, it emerged last night.