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iPhone v Android debate 'not important'
THE debate over which is the better of two popular types of telephone has ended after participants realised it simply did not matter.
Sky apologises for super-ness of Sunday
FOOTBALL pimp Sky Sports has been forced to withdraw claims that yesterday was super.
Hollywood stars raise awareness for their stupid, childish jobs
HOLLYWOOD shone like a dazzling beacon of breathtaking glamour last
night as a series of pathological narcissists made speeches about how
important their pathetic jobs are.
Modern couples having less sex, says person who makes these things up
THE man whose job it is to make up sex statistics has decided that modern couples are having less sex.
Brit Awards 'clinically unwatchable', say experts
TONIGHT’S Brit awards will be 'clinically unwatchable', according to the Royal College of Physicians.
Oldham buys miracle health tonic
PURVEYORS of miracle health tonics and herbal hair loss remedies have compared Oldham to a 21st Century gold rush.
Credit card debtors sleeping like babies
MOST people are managing a sumptuous eight hours sleep a night despite crippling credit card debt, it has emerged.
Grant to manage West Ham from circus cannon
AVRAM Grant is to stay on as West Ham manager on the basis he can be fired into the English Channel at any second.