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Humans to stick with oil
HUMANS are to continue to base their societies on a highly toxic substance that obviously costs far too much money.
Thousands of public health experts could disappear
THOUSANDS of public health experts could disappear over the next two weeks if they don't shut it, according to a new study.
Wenger did not see Orient match
ARSENE Wenger has refused to comment on Arsenal's draw against Leyton Orient, claiming not to have seen any of it.
Oliver made teenage boys give semen sample after meeting Cherie Blair
TV CHEF Jamie Oliver forced a group of boys to try and achieve sexual fruition after they had encountered Cherie Blair, it has been claimed.
Don't suppose you could invite Gaddafi? BP asks Kate
BP has asked Prince William and Kate Middleton if there is any chance they could invite Colonel Gaddafi to their wedding in April.
Uefa banks on football fans being thick
TICKET prices for the Champion's League final are fresh evidence that the people who run football think the fans might be a bit stupid, it emerged last night.
Archeologists uncover ancient responsible drinking posters
SCIENTISTS have found the earliest example of sour-faced meddling in a 15,000 year-old pub in Cheddar.
Rotting elephant corpse parties with Kerry Katona
THE decomposing elephant from Channel 4's Life After Death has been spotted partying with Kerry Katona at a string of exclusive London clubs.