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Police cuts to hit areas where they don't do anything anyway
CUTS to police numbers will hit hardest in areas where the chances of them actually doing anything have always been remarkably slim, it has emerged.
Colonel Gaddafi's Desert Island Discs
I HAVE always been huge fan of Mr Elvis Presley. He was a most wonderful entertainer, with his one for the money, and two for the show, three to get ready and - one moment please…
Northerners in a tizzy about something
TWO competing strains of Northerner became animated about something yesterday.
Prescott becoming part of society, warn experts
JOHN Prescott is manoeuvring himself gradually into the mainstream of British society, it was warned last night.
Sheen to judge Crackhead Idol
WAYWARD heart throb Charlie Sheen will head the judging panel on ITV's Crackhead Idol, in which ordinary drug addicts compete for a $1m Twitter rant deal.
Parts of Kate Winslet's body reveal that they hate her
VARIOUS bits of Titanic star Kate Winslet's have revealed how insufferable they find their host organism.
Masterchef viewers divided over Greg Wallace copulating with food
VIEWERS are divided over the new Masterchef format, in which judge Greg Wallace assesses each dish after having sexual intercourse with it.
Pope distances himself from Galliano
THE Vatican last night insisted Pope Benedict could not be more different from fascist dress designer John Galliano.