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Laurie to release terribly nice blues album

HUGH Laurie is to release his first blues album detailing the trials of being an exceptionally-rich white man.

Ginger man thinks oil companies are nice

OIL companies would never dream of doing bad things, Britain's most powerful ginger claimed last night.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My best friend confronted me last night and told me that since I started going out with my girlfriend I've totally changed.

Apple to copyright individual letters

STEVE Jobs has announced his intention to trademark the alphabet.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Your reputation for being a wise leader is further undermined this week when you assume that Britain and America would not dare to get embroiled in an unwinnable war that goes on forever.

Gospel music to focus on non-existence of God

MODERN gospel music is increasingly about the non-existence of a supreme being, it has emerged.

Osborne hands average family £45 to give to British Gas

GEORGE Osborne will today let the average family look at £45 of their own money as it travels from the Treasury to British Gas.

One woman's week, with Karen Fenessey

The new doctor at my grandfather's nursing home is a black gentleman (I'm guessing African?) and he touched my grandfather somewhere that's very special to him.