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Key financial decisions now based on free toy
BRITONS will spend any amount of money in order to get a 'plush toy', it has emerged.
Furious entertainment industry promises year from hell
THE entertainment industry has responded to last week's internet blackout by vowing to make 2012 a new low in the history of entertainment.
OK, we'll get jobs, say poor people
BRITAIN'S poor people have finally conceded defeat and vowed to find work first thing this morning.
RBS chief to get bonus or legal fees and bonus
THE taxpayer will have to pay for Stephen Hester's bonus or pay for his bonus and his lawyers, it has been confirmed.
Police investigate allegations of reasonable criticism
CHELSEA fans are being investigated after several were reportedly heard making balanced, cogent points about opposition players.
Paul Daniels to explain to why he didn't magic his finger back on
PAUL Daniels is to explain to the Magic Circle why he did not use conjuring and sorcery to re-attach his severed finger.
Ban adverts for things that don't always work, say angry people
THINGS that do not always work perfectly should not be advertised on the television, angry people have claimed.
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