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Scottish premier league to award three points for murder

SCOTTISH football's premier league is to award three points for a successful bombing campaign.

Prince William's Desert Island Discs

I'LL be so pleased when this whole wedding business is out of the way. I've never been quite sure why one needs to get married in the first place.

One woman's week, with Karen Fenessey

The biggest dilemma at a church wedding is whether to go with hymns or risk upsetting God with something by Gary Glitter or Elton John.

Wedding video maker sued for accurate portrayal of tedious day

A CAMERAMAN faces legal action after failing to make a wedding look better than it actually was.

Online daters at risk from people pretending to be quirky

LONELY individuals seeking love online are being exploited by people who pretend to have funny little ways about them, it has emerged.

We would win if PR referendum used PR, says vote reform campaign

SUPPORTERS of proportional representation insist they would win the upcoming referendum on vote reform if it used proportional representation.

Cowell replaced by ageing, embittered drag queen

ITV's Shit Factor will return later this year with Simon Cowell being replaced by a contemptuous showbiz failure.

Churches to charge for choirboy photos

VISITORS to churches have been banned from photographing choristers unless they pay a sum based on the boy's prettiness.