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United raise ticket prices to annoy everyone
MANCHESTER United have confirmed that their £1 ticket price increase was
a calculated move based solely on their insatiable desire to annoy.
Cash-strapped Area 51 tells captive aliens to get a job
EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS living at the American military's secret containment facility must go out and earn their keep, it was announced last night.
Anger as millions denied chance to look at Bin Laden's brain instead of working
MILLIONS of people across the world have been denied the chance to use up the best part of their morning staring at the gloopy contents of Osama Bin Laden's ruptured head.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
Now that we're having warmer weather, it's time to dust off my shorts, pull a razor through the jungle on my legs and get some fresh air about my stale armpits.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY)
Kids do say the funniest things, but mostly they say annoying, repetitive shit.
It's not telly if you watch it on a computer, say middle class people
MIDDLE class people have asserted their right to feel smug about not
having a television despite watching exactly the same shit on computers.