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Cuts attacked by people who think they are a bad idea

THE debate over government cutbacks took a dramatic turn last night after they were attacked by some people who have never liked them.

Drone attack kills end-of-level baddie

THE tricky boss at the end of level five of War on Terror has been killed by Americans, it emerged last night.

Murray immortalised as footnote in world's most boring rivalry

ANDY Murray will be remembered as the guy Rafael Nadal usually beat before he beat Roger Federer in the French Open final, it was confirmed last night.

Of course it was beansprouts

AN inquiry was launched last night into why it has taken more than a week to trace the Ecoli outbreak to the foulest of all vegetables.

Lads' mags lack the integrity of 'Knave', says Cameron

MODERN magazines like Nuts lack the unpretentious honesty of Razzle and Knave, according to the prime minister.

Summer TV highlights

2500 domestic animals. 2 judges. 1 competition.