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Everyone to employ personal postmen

THE latest rise in postal rates is forcing many households to hire their own surly layabout.

New festival aimed directly at twats

THE Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat is to be Britain's first 100 percent twat-friendly festival.

Supreme Court to overturn Roe v cancer

US Supreme Court justices are set to overturn the landmark ruling in Roe versus cancer.

Desert Island Discs, with George Osborne

Many people think that I'm the sort of person who constantly had people urinating in his locker at school.

Clinique unveils Face Holocaust for Men

THE war on blackheads will soon be won by Britain's men, with the help of Clinique's Nuclear Face Holocaust range.

Goading crocodiles every day 'makes you thinner'

PEOPLE who goad crocodiles for 30 minutes a day tend to weigh less than those who do not, according to new research.