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Bachmann launches White House bid by machine-gunning a pig
MICHELLE Bachmann has launched her presidential campaign with the ritual machine-gunning of a pig.
Transformers film somehow makes giant robots uninteresting
THE latest Transformers sequel has somehow made enormous flying robots seem like the dullest thing that has ever happened, it emerged last night.
Parents to break Michael Gove
PARENTS across Britain are to capture Michael Gove in a big net and then beat him with a sock full of pennies.
Olympics criticised for not immediately fulfilling pointless desires
ORGANISERS of the London Olympics have apologised for not simultaneously saying yes to every single person in the world.