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Who does Rupert Murdoch think you are?
QUESTIONS were being raised last night over exactly what kind of person Rupert Murdoch thinks you are.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
My boyfriend of 3 weeks has just asked me to marry him. Even though I
still don't know his middle name, and I've only seen his pee-pee once.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Time to have your bowels examined after you take a dump at a music festival and the Portaloo throws up.
Sandwich to stay disappointing for two weeks
ADVANCES in food technology mean that pre-packed sandwiches can now retain their disappointingness for up to 14 days.
Is the Guardian Harry Potter?
THE Harry Potter saga has come to life with the boy wizard taking the form of the Guardian, experts have confirmed.
Murdoch reeling as glamour models pull kiss-and-tell sexcapades
BRITAIN'S topless models have threatened to withdraw their thrilling tales of rump-pumpy from the News Of The World.
Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor
'Good morning handsome, you giant mountain of sexual satisfaction, supported by two thighs so muscular in nature they could be mistaken for those of an elk'.