the dailymash

Miliband nose op leaves him sounding like Joe Pasquale

L'Oreal disappointed at ban on fraud

COSMETICS giant L'Oreal has admitted its disappointment at not being allowed to commit fraud.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

'There's a guy in my office who's always got birds swarming round him, and I've heard on the grapevine that he's a homosexual.'

Happiness survey used to locate and destroy cheerful people

Cameron stands by Osborne, but also open to other suggestions

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
This week you phone your broadband provider to ask if they do a 'Masturbating Music Thief' package.

Comic convention attended by adults

THE world's largest gathering of picture-story fans is teeming with adults, it has emerged.

Daley hoping Olympic pool has been filled

TOM Daley will today make the first dive into the new Olympic pool that he really hopes someone has remembered to fill with water.