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Adrian Mole 'goes on murder spree'
THE latest Adrian Mole book sees the main character exacting bloody revenge on the world for his years of comic misfortune, it has emerged.
Scott team had 'penguin wives'
CAPTAIN Scott and his team married female penguins during their trip to the Antarctic, it has emerged.
'Bully' not the same as 'twat', celebrities told
CELEBRITIES are to have the meaning of the word 'bully' explained to them, in a bid to stop it becoming utterly meaningless.
Obama delivers inspiring speech about blowjobs
President captivates nation with emotionally-charged rhetoric about getting noshed off.
Jazzy Jeff's 'Summertime' sounding like a piss take
THE classic hip hop track Summertime, which celebrates seasonal sunshine and happiness, is sounding like a cruel joke to UK radio listeners.
Water vole has a massive go at heron
WATER voles are no longer taking shit off predators, it has emerged.
Increasingly debauched jubilee celebrations enter second week
BRITAIN has been warned to wind down its jubilee partying, with many celebrants now having been seven nights without sleep.
Ray Bradbury 'lived to see era when books and knowledge are treated with suspicion'
"He was really pleased to see his vision of the future come true," said deceased writer's daughter.