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Britain's teenagers herded into their pens

IN the midst of social strife Britain's traditions endure as today the country celebrates the Great Annual Sifting of the Teenagers.

Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor

The public clearly don't trust Mr Cameron, which seems crazy to me. The man exudes CEO.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My daughter-in-law recently lent me Al Gore's award winning environmental documentary, The Day After Tomorrow.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
This week you regret telling the landlord that you would do 'anything' to have your bar tab cleared while licking your lips seductively as you find yourself sucking petrol out of the cars in the pub carpark for his BMW.

Riots were Derren Brown TV stunt

THE riots which devastated 90 percent of England were just the latest high jinks mind-control stunt by cocky illusionist Derren Brown, it has emerged.

Sanctimonious tools live longer

LOOKING down your nose at normal people can add 10 years to your life, say researchers.

Rail bosses pledge to improve infrastructure of their gigantic houses

TRAIN fare hikes are vital if rail executives are to double the size of their humongous homes by 2015, it was claimed last night.

News International cat incredibly far from bag

THE News International cat was at least 2,000 miles from its bag, it was estimated last night.