the dailymash

That Gordon Brown turned out to be a bit of a nutter, didn't he? says former best friend

Scotland's 14th biggest Deacon Blue tribute act to disband

England to top international hype table

VICTORY over Wales tomorrow will see England confirmed as the team with the most unrealistic set of fans in the world.

Blair to teach Murdoch's daughter how to lie

TONY Blair has pledged to school his god-daughter in the ancient ways of dishonesty.

Getting something lodged in skull still best way to get on page eight of Metro

GETTING an unusual object stuck in your facebone is still the best way of starring on page eight of Metro, it has been confirmed.

'Oh well, it's her money' say critics who have seen new Madonna film

Game on, say teachers

BRITAIN'S teachers absolutely cannot wait to get cracking now physical force can go unrecorded in classrooms.

Gaddafi sets out flame-based vision for 21st century Libya

COLONEL Gaddafi has made a renewed effort to rally the Libyan people with a pledge to set everything on fire.