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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I introduced the idea of wife swapping at our last neighbourhood watch meeting, but it didn't go down too well.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Buffalo mozzarella, fresh peppery rocket, iberico ham and a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil. Just some of the things they don't sell in Iceland and you've therefore never eaten.

Sky to launch depressing court TV channel

SATELLITE viewers will be able to watch the heartbreakingly banal minutiae of the court system under new laws.

Gok Wan revealed as crafty heterosexual

CHANNEL 4's How To Look Good Naked is a ruse for the secretly straight Gok Wan to involve himself with female body parts, it has emerged.

GQ awards to trigger violent revolution

BRITAIN may finally be stirred into the violent overthrow of its financial and political systems after seeing photographs from last night's GQ Men of the Year awards.

'Feral' comment wrong because it came from Ken Clarke, say experts

DESCRIBING the semi-literate moral vacuums who looted England as 'feral' is wrong because Ken Clarke said it, experts have confirmed.

Pippa's undercrackers break tourism record

WINDSOR Castle has attracted record visitor numbers to an exhibition featuring Pippa Middleton's used underpants.

Ministers to tackle greenbelt backlash with 4m Hobbit holes

MINISTER are to tackle rising anger over new planning laws by pledging to dig more than 4m new Hobbit holes over the next 10 years.