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Ridiculing Arsenal to become a hate crime

ARSENAL are to be granted legal protection from the relentless taunts of opposing fans, it has been confirmed.

What kind of car does Tindall drive? asks Prince Philip

PRINCE Philip has asked his staff to find out what kind of car England Rugby captain Mike Tindall is currently driving.

Irish travellers 'have ancient right to ignore planning laws'

IRISH travelling folk will today reaffirm their ancient, mystic right not to have planning permission for their houses.

Planet with double sunset is full of bad dialogue

A PLANET with two suns is likely to be filled with poor quality dialogue, astronomers have claimed.

Punching a clown may be best medicine, say experts

THE benefits of laughter pale into insignificance compared to the well-being generated by punching a clown in the face, according to new research.

Busy parents ask schools to beat their children

ALMOST half the parents in Britain are so busy they need schools to beat their children for them.

Confusion as banker arrested for losing vast amount of money

THERE was widespread confusion today after a banker was arrested for losing billions of pounds.