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Scotland asked to be less predictable
SPORTS fans have asked Scotland that if they cannot be good can they at least be unusual.
Ed Balls to pretend we've never met
ED Balls will today attempt to convince Britain that we have him confused with that smug little prick who ruined everything.
Humanity breaks speed of light but is still rubbish with money
THE human race has managed to break the speed of light before learning how not to run out of money, it has been confirmed.
Blackpool not clean enough for giant gas refinery
SHALE gas operations can only start in Blackpool once the town meets minimum environmental standards.
Barbaric children's cage fight also entertaining
A CAGE fight between two eight year-old boys has been condemned as utterly unmissable.
Facebook unveils 'turdline'
A NEW Facebook feature will allow users to the tell the story of their turds.
Assange would be getting taste of own medicine if he was a government, say experts
JULIAN Assange is not really getting a taste of his own medicine because he is not a huge, deceitful government, experts have confirmed.