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What hope for ugly people?
Back in the eighties Mimi Rogers was visited by an angel who told her that she would marry the messiah and also go on to win an Oscar for her role in Full Body Massage.
Cameron launches campaign of racism against Greeks
THE coalition government has launched a £10m campaign encouraging everyone to hate the Greeks.
Documentary channels drop factual subjects
SATELLITE documentary channels have decided to drop factual programming to focus on UFOs, Bigfoot and Atlantis.
Murray in danger of no longer being funny
ANDY Murray risks losing his status as a byword for risible mediocrity.
Annual six-week soap opera break triggers usual moaning
THE yearly six-week break in the soap opera season is causing widespread grumpiness among fans of popular drama.
Higgs boson becomes first celebrity particle
THE Higgs boson has discussed its rollercoaster ride to fame and revealed exciting reality TV plans.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
Gimme a ‘P’! Gimme a ‘s’! GImme a ‘y’! Gimme a ‘c’! Gimme a...hello? Are you still there?
Ping pong table prevents riots
THE arrival of a ping pong table at a Tottenham youth club has prevented another summer of urban riots, it has emerged.