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But I was wearing tights, says violent criminal
US vigilante Phoenix Jones has had his costume-based appeal for leniency rejected.
Most people still think organs might be handy after death
THE majority of potential organ donors would prefer to keep hold of their body parts until they are fully decomposed, just in case.
Sun demands inquiry into whether Fox does it with men
AS defence secretary Liam Fox faced fresh accusations of helping a friend's business interests, the Sun has demanded to know if he does gay sex.
West Ham not very good at buildings either
SOMETIME football club West Ham has added 'winning stadium bids' to its list of inabilities.
Portas to destroy every high street with her brain
THE Portas Inquiry into Britain's high streets will close every shop in the country because Mary Portas is such an utter moron, it has emerged.
Psychics censoring our abusive messages, say dead people
THE dead have slammed dishonest psychics for deliberately misinterpreting their vengeful, hate-filled messages.
'Eating French people no worse than eating pigs'
HUGH Fearnley-Whittingstall has claimed that eating a Frenchman and his family is morally the same as eating an animal.
Fury as EU stops three year-old from choking
THE European Union has been accused of nanny state meddling after giving the Heimlich manoeuvre to a three year-old.