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Woman to explain why she had sex with Clarkson
BRITAIN is today awaiting the explanation of a Jeremy Clarkson sex partner.
Legal highs to join list of long-forgotten banned substances
THE government is to continue its successful policy of banning drugs with 'legal highs' joining other obsolete substances like heroin and ecstasy.
Euro deal after Merkel feels a bit 'Hitlery'
EUROZONE leaders have agreed a landmark deal to save the single currency
after the German chancellor said she was feeling a bit 'Fourth Reichy'.
Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor
Every squeak feels like a bird is taking a shit on the shiny bonnet of my success.
Tax scandal would have destroyed Cable's credibility
VINCE Cable's failure to pay income tax on time would have destroyed any credibility he still had, it has been confirmed.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
Dave from IT has given me Gonorrhoea. Should I impale both his testicles with a high heel, or just one?
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
It's okay, mine humps people's legs too. So was yours born like that or did the midwife drop it on its head?
Shakespeare was an alien, says Emmerich
ROLAND Emmerich says his new film will prove that William Shakespeare was a 300-foot alien.