the dailymash

Scientist proves that mediums aren't stupid

SIMON Singh's bid to have a psychic prove her supernatural powers was turned down after it emerged she is not an idiot.

Ailing JJB targets people who do sport

TROUBLED sloth-wear vendor JJB Sports is to market its goods at sporty people.

Cowell pins hopes on X Factor human centipede

SIMON Cowell hopes to revive the embattled X Factor by stitching the contestants together into a 'single entertainment organism'

Facebook generation worried it may not be under enough surveillance

It's OK to cry during your commute, workers told

Government gives £1bn to builders instead of you

THE government is to boost the economy by giving £1bn to some builders instead of you and your friends.

Lewis Hamilton is 86 years-old

LEWIS Hamilton's recent dip in form is because he is actually in his mid eighties, it has emerged.

Britain dares Charles to block legislation

PRINCE Charles should try blocking legislation, just to see what happens, it was claimed last night.