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Brian Sewell's Euro 2012 playoff round-up
NEXT year I shall be reviving the lost tradition of the Grand Tour Of Europe, with my route taking me to every town in which Lord Byron managed to impregnate a member of the local aristocracy.
Experts warn of toast sandwich envy
BRITAIN could soon be torn apart by toast sandwich envy, it has been claimed.
Amount of alcohol thrown away by UK homes remains at zero
THE average British household is wasting no alcohol, according to new research.
John Lewis kid's gift to parents is list of ways they disappoint him
THE huge box the child in the John Lewis advert hands to his parents contains a detailed breakdown of how they have failed him, it has emerged.
TV highlights
The best of the upcoming reality TV shows.
One woman's week, with Karen Fenessey
He's a handsome English landowner, she's TingTing - the China girl with the kind of boyish waist and hairless areas women would literally kill for.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
I've been amassing a personal collection of dildos for many happy years.
As my 40th birthday is approaching, I thought I might showcase my
efforts in a more public arena...