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Hollywood to film 'Premier League Burning'

HOLYWOOD is to remake Mississippi Burning set in a variety of premier league football grounds.

Scientists warn of fog metaphors

EXPERTS have warned the dense fog over greater London will be used as a metaphor.

Arabic word for 'spring' is same as Arabic word for 'tear gas'

THE 'Arab Spring' is a mistranslation, it has emerged.

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Elderly parents reveal plan to buy shit computer

YOUR ageing parents are planning to get themselves a 'computer with the internet', in a move that will ruin your life.

Middle class ketamine users 'risk delusions of cool'

RECREATIONAL sedative ketamine can induce the false belief of coolness in well-heeled teenagers, scientists have claimed.

Ryanair to phase out passengers

RYANAIR boss Michael OLeary is to end passengers.