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Cloning a mammoth is a shit idea, say experts

PLANS to clone a woolly mammoth have been dismissed as incredibly stupid and shit.

Arsenal to unveil statue of man checking his texts

THE next statue to be unveiled outside the Emirates Stadim will be of someone looking really bored.

Everyone still pretending they know what they're talking about

THREE days after the exploding Euro-summit, everyone is still pretending that they know what is going to happen.

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Are you supposed to breast feed the Son of God?

DJs Fabio and Grooverider announce residency in rave retirement home

PENSIONED-OFF Radio 1 drum and bass dons Fabio and Grooverider are to become resident DJs at a home for retired junglists.

Six-year-old Nativity actor to redefine role of innkeeper

STEPHEN Malley's portrayal of the innkeeper in his school's Nativity play will smash existing preconceptions of the role, according to him and his mum.

Banksy defaces Banksy with another Banksy

CONTROVERSIAL GCSE-standard urban artist Bansky has struck again, this time defacing a valuable Banksy mural in London, knocking tens of thousands of pounds from its value.

Grizzly bears accuse BBC of racism

DAVID Attenborough has been embroiled in a row over the ethnic diversity of bears in BBC documentaries.