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North Korea to execute Kim Jong Il's heart attack

KIM Jong-Il's fatal heart attack is to be executed by firing squad, it has been confirmed.

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Introducing 'The Robong'.

Hitchens cancer not intelligently designed

THE cancer which claimed Christopher Hitchens was either random or stupid, it has been confirmed.

Zoo to build nightclub for gay animals

A CANADIAN zoo has announced plans to construct a specialist nightclub for its homosexual animals.

French shocked by lack of shock

THE people of France have been left shocked by the complete absence of shock they feel at former president Jacques Chirac being found guilty of embezzlement.

End of Iraq war marked by beginning of Iraq civil war

AMERICA'S withdrawal from Iraq will be marked by a special civil war as soon as the last helicopter leaves.

Scholars to definitely read Brontë manuscript at some point

PROFESSORS who paid £700,000 for a rare Charlotte Brontë manuscript have just sort of skimmed through it.

Man visits Post Office without catching anything

A 38-YEAR-OLD male has confounded medical experts by visiting a post Office in December without getting anyone's cold.