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Reader offer: The Merchant Ivory World of Sexual Repression

Go skinny-dipping with TV's Simon Callow!

Government hoping you die soon

WITH death rates at their lowest ever level, the government is encouraging you to die.

You're like that mentalist Bumgardener

He should have started with jumping off my granny's garage.

People paying to watch football

YOU have to pay to get into football matches, according to new research.

Starbucks crowded out by ruthless independent tearooms

STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.

Hirst unveils pregnant statue's useless boyfriend

DAMIEN Hirst's bronze of a pregnant teenager has been joined by a statue of her skunk-addled boyfriend.