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4G phones capable of everything

THERE is nothing 4G phones cannot do, it has emerged.

Banana-based society sounds fantastic, says everyone

A WORLD in which bananas are the main thing sounds absolutely brilliant, it has been agreed.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You’ve always managed to avoid tension in the office by being absolutely unemployable.

Trick-or-treaters seem to think this is America

THOUSANDS of costumed children and their parents are under the mistaken impression that England is America, it has emerged.

Going to work far more terrifying than ghosts and monsters

WORKING in an office will be the most fear-inducing thing about this Halloween, according to millions of Britons.

Investment banking will fix hurricane damage, says Romney

THE devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy can only be fixed with a new wave of unregulated investment banking, Mitt Romney has claimed.