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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
This week, your no-nonsense attitude to work gets you sacked from the homeopathic pharmacy.
The Mashipedia Emergency Fact Service
WITH Wikipedia laid low by chronic indignation, the Daily Mash has
unselfishly stepped into the breach with a list of today's Top Ten
Must-Have facts.
'Onesies' prove men no longer exist
THE availability of one-piece romper suits for adult males proves that men are over, it has been claimed.
Headache epidemic caused by having to think
EXPERTS have warned the Wikipedia blackout will cause widescale brain injuries as people try to know things.
Standard & Poor's upgrades itself
CREDIT rating agency Standard & Poor's has upgraded itself to Triple-A Plus Super Fantastic.
Past Times give workers Ye Olde Sacke
PANIC gift purchase store Past Times has made 574 workers redundant today via the medium of town crier.
Queen's new boat to be massive waste of private money
ONLY private money should pissed away on the Queen's new boat, the government has insisted.
Britain may have to do some actual work
BRITAIN faces the prospect of having to remove its finger from its arse.