Parents warned to stop calling their children Lily or Jack

Cameron bootlegged during China visit

DAVID Cameron has been illegally copied while on a state visit to China.

The bootlegging operation was uncovered by a police raid on a warehouse which discovered pallets full of cheap copies of the prime minister ready to be shipped worldwide.

An expert said: “They’ve got the exact shade of pink on the cheeks and that robotic false warmth in the eyes.

“One even got into the Commons and began giving a speech before it got stuck in an infinite loop of cutting costs and boosting efficiency and had to be beaten to death by Black Rod’s mace.”

The Trading Standards Institute has warned the public not to buy the bootlegs, which contain toxic materials and overheat dangerously when asked for a firm position on membership of the European Union.

A spokesman said: “Most people won’t notice the difference and might buy one to punch about the house, but there are ways to tell.

“If you check the driving licence it actually says ‘Cameren’ and the bootlegs don’t bear the distinctive brand of the original manufacturer, Eton College, on the left buttock.”