THE sight of horribly out of shape men walking around topless is massively boosting everyone’s self-esteem, it has emerged.
Herds of huge, sweaty blokes roaming Britain’s streets and parks in the hot weather have made Britons feel infinitely better about their own underwhelming physiques in comparison.
Onlooker Martin Bishop said: “At first I thought big fat topless men were nothing more than disgusting oafs with no regard for public decency. Then I realised they’re providing an important service.
“By trudging around with their glistening, wobbling blubber on show they’re lowering the body image bar for everyone. I’ve never felt so comfortable in my slightly pudgy skin in my entire life, and I owe it to them.”
Fellow fat man appreciator Nikki Hollis said: “If it weren’t for grossly overweight men getting their sweat-slicked beer bellies out, women would be so insecure they’d spend the summer wearing baggy sweaters or hessian sacks.
“When you see young women sunbathing wearing next to nothing, you’ve got big fat topless men to thank. They’re the unsung heroes of the season.
“Why not show your appreciation by buying them a couple of burgers? Get ones with loads of cheese and bacon. We want them to stay in shape.”
